Dear White Friends

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are: hot, humid, desert sun, cactus, polar cap, Marmaduke

They were submitted by: http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/

This post is going to be controversial for some people. All I ask is that you keep an open mind while you read, try not to get defensive, and do some research. Perhaps this applies to you or maybe it doesn't. And for the time being, I will be turning comment moderation on just in case. I consider myself an ally and I want this to be a safe place for people of color as well as the people this was written for... For my POC friends, if I have something wrong and you would like to see a change in what I have written, please feel free to contact me. 

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Dear White Friends,

Some of us, maybe all of us, have charged into the issue of racism, systemic racism, and police brutality like Marmaduke in perhaps every single comic strip ever written about the often lovable and well-meaning but clumsy mess of a Great Dane. Sometimes our good intentions keep us from really taking a look at how our actions, words, or lack of both affect others. I mean, you can be “liberal” or “progressive” or claim “I’m not a racist, but…” all day long, but none of those labels and sentence starters mean anything if you aren’t willing to take a look in the mirror and evaluate yourself and your own biases every now and then.

So, look, I know that it’s probably hot where you are. It’s certainly a humid version of literal hell here in South Georgia, weather-wise. Maybe the desert sun where you live has you feeling as prickly as a cactus and in desperate need of time on a polar cap in order to make you give two shits about any issue that doesn’t affect you directly, and who can blame you really? Life is hard enough when you have to worry about yourself and your own family much less the lives of people who have, quite possibly, a different culture, religion, sociopolitical stance, and socioeconomic stance than you do. Life is fucking hard without getting involved in social media debates about whether a black man that you have never met in a state you don’t live in was to blame for police killing him or not…

But here’s the thing, and it’s a really huge thing: People who aren’t white can’t shut it off. People who aren’t white can’t do what I did this past weekend and decide to turn the news off, to escape from the harsh reality that is American violence, and be absorbed by the comedy shows I love. That doesn’t ever or in any way imply that White people can’t have tough lives. I just said it for all of us, for every human—life is fucking tough no matter what. It’s pretty much tough by design from the simplest of creatures up to the most complex. But, it’s always going to be at least a little tougher when you are pre-judged for jobs, loans, housing applications, on social media, by friends, by people in the neighborhood you live in, by the police, by the court system, by the entirety of our capitalist society just because of the color of your skin, something you are born with and about which you have no choice.

I like to use a work room cafeteria analogy. If you go into a cafeteria where everyone pays the same amount for a tray of food and notice that, for example, all of your coworkers who belong to a union are given 2/3 of the amount of food as those who don’t, would you speak up? Would you notice? Would you say, wait a minute…this isn’t fucking fair? That’s what oppression is (in a nutshell), and that oppression/systemic racism exists in a myriad of ways in this country. Women see it in terms of social treatment, rape culture, and the wage gap, among other ways, but it is not just enough to demand equal pay for women without acknowledging the fact that racist policies and procedures exist that devalue the work and jobs of people of color. It's not enough, then, to see the strides that have been made since the beginnings of civil rights activism and think the fight is over just because you have a few black friends on your Facebook feed...

I get that you want to scream ALL LIVES MATTER. It’s a defensive reaction. But, the idea that it’s necessary is absurd. Police brutality is an issue for all races. We see the numbers. Police officers have killed over 500 people this year alone which pales in comparison to other nations with similar social structures and policies—even countries with as prevalent or more racist populations than we have. White people are dying at the hands of our overly militarized police far too often. No one would deny that. Across the board, police brutality is an issue. And we know it’s a police issue and not just a population issue because in places that use body cameras consistently and places where police have undergone more extensive de-escalation training, incidents of police shootings have declined. BUT, when you statistically break down the numbers of shootings by race and population percentages, people of color are far more likely to be killed by police than their white counterparts while a large part of our society fails to see that a problem exists. There is an implicit “too” at the end of Black Lives Matter and not an implicit “only” at the beginning, and that’s where the issues of both accidental and intentional misunderstanding come in. When Jesus said “blessed be the poor” no one in the background shouted “blessed be all” because everyone already understood that Jesus was speaking for a fucking population that the majority failed to recognize as worthy of blessings… What is being asked for…no, what is being demanded rightfully and understandably right now is that folks acknowledge the problem and stop dismissing it as an isolated incident or derailing the conversation with bullshit like All Lives Matter or “well, why don’t you care about black on black crime?!?!” The hashtag, phrase, idea, organization, and sentiment is Black Lives Matter because for far too large a portion of the population, when a black person is killed at the hands of police, it is always, always assumed that he or she asked for it (sound sickeningly familiar?) and nothing is done about it.

Since I mentioned it, let me just go ahead and say that if you’re one of those people who think it’s okay to shout “black on black crime” as some sort of battle cry on social media, you’re an ass. I’m in no way sorry for saying so; feel free to take issue with it as you will. There are three things here that catch phrase, when hurtled like a dagger, fails to realize. One, there isn’t a dichotomy here. People can care about both police brutality against people of color and also care about intraracial crime. In fact, if more people cared to actually research, Black Lives Matter organizations across the nation do more in the community than protest when a police shooting occurs. Those are just the ratings-grabbing stories the media chooses to focus on. In Chicago, the key city for most people who argue against BLM, people in the movement and community created an organization of volunteers who disrupted violent altercations in the community before they could actually happen. Two, when a black person murders another black person in a community, the person who unjustly killed the other goes to prison. There's no grand jury that fails to bring an indictment because of the token phrase "I feared for my life." But here is the main thing—almost all crime is intraracial. Most crimes committed against white people are by, you guessed it, white people. And most crimes are crimes of proximity which also explains why they’re intraracial. Human beings commit crimes against people to whom they have easy access. The vast majority of rapists rape friends or family members. The same is true of child molesters. People rob in their own communities or take from family members. Murders often happen with people living in the same house and same community. Hell, even some serial killers remain close to home taking victims within a very close radius to their central home point. That’s just the way people work. It’s not a matter of something wrong with a very specific race as is suggested by black on black crime. I mean that whole phrase is pretty much a bullshit term.

I think, for the most part, there is a failing of understanding at play when people get defensive and shout over the other voices--the voices that are rarely really seriously heard. When people say Eric Garner shouldn’t have had his side hustle selling cigarettes or when people say that all lives matter or even when men shout “not all men” in spaces that women use to discuss feminist issues, it’s a complete lack of understanding of what happens outside your own every day existence. When a person doesn’t have to live it, it’s easy to pretend like a problem doesn’t exist. When men walk down the street in NYC and never get cat called once, it’s pretty damn easy for them to decide cat calling isn’t really an issue of importance. People who deny this problem of race and police brutality exists and who deny, as well, that systemic racism exists, aren’t living it. They aren’t having to talk to their children about how to avoid being shot by police when they’re pulled over for driving while black or thrown to the ground for wearing a hoodie while black. We have to pay attention to the voices of others. People of color need to be heard, validated, and understood. It’s not enough to say “well don’t put the blame on police” when you fail to realize that from the very start police forces have been used to oppress people of color. Police forces were the ones smashing skulls in Selma and all over the nation during civil rights protests and acts of civil disobedience. Police forces that continue to use Broken Window policing to harass the poorest and often minority neighborhoods that only exist because of discriminatory housing practices to begin with… It’s easier, ultimately, to pretend the problem lies with a group of people that have never really been respected as equals in this country than to understand the reality is that the policies and procedures and, perhaps, the very foundation of that country are broken.

We have to be better than this. I see exceptional people every day lending their voices to the cause. Lend yours. As with Horton Hears a Who, it’s going to take every voice possible to create change, from those with the most power in addition to those with less.

With Love,

j

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Baking In A Tornado http://www.bakinginatornado.com/2016/07/use-your-words-cocktails-hawks-and.html

Southern Belle Charm http://www.southernbellecharm.com

Not That Sarah Michelle http://notthatsarahmichelle.blogspot.com

Spatulas on Parade http://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com/2016/07/spiced-banana-honey-roasted-pecan-cake.html

Dinosaur Superhero Mommy http://dinoheromommy.com/

My Brain on Kids http://mybrainonkids.net

The Bergham Chronicles http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

Never Ever Give Up Hope http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Confessions of a part time working mom http://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/2016/07/use-your-words-blonde-moments-and.html

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver http://www.thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog.html

Molly Ritterbeck http://mollyritterbeck.com/

Juicebox Confession http://juiceboxconfession.com/

When I Grow Up http://kimberlyyavorski.com/whenigrowup/?p=620&preview=true

Sparkly Poetic Weirdo http://sparklyjenn.blogspot.com/

On the Border http://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/2016/07/mowed.html

The Problem with Denial

In the wake of Michael Brown’s death in Ferguson, Missouri and subsequent protests demanding answers for the death of the unarmed teen, it is painfully obvious that much of America is still in denial about systemic racism in this country, the role that racism plays in societal dynamics, and how much damage is done by that denial.

I have, like everyone else, had Facebook and Twitter feeds that have been so often full of opinions on the matter of Michael Brown’s death. Many people feel it was unwarranted and have made solid judgments about the force used by this particular police officer. Many have felt the need to scorn the reactions (labeled riots and looting) by some community members (a very small segment of the population) afterwards as if being a White person in Georgia or Pennsylvania or Oregon suddenly gives us direct insight into what it’s like to be a minority in a place like Ferguson. Reading a few news articles is the equivalent of miraculously pulling an Eddie Murphy and Dan Akroyd style Trading Places bit, right? And then there are still others who have spoken out against “black culture, fatherless homes in the black community, erosion of the family, thug culture” or have outright blamed Micheal Brown from making conjectures about his behavior that day to sharing pictures of the wrong kid to prove a point to talking about Brown’s alleged marijuana use as if any of these somehow excuses what Officer Darren Wilson did that fateful afternoon of August 9, 2014.

No matter what your stance on the death of Michael Brown, the thing that all these talking points and opinions have in common is the blatant skirting of the issue of systemic racism and how that is so intertwined with this issue that there is no way to separate the two.

Nearly every time I mention the fact that systemic racism exists and allows a position of privilege for White people, I get told by someone at some point that he or she will absolutely not apologize for being White and that it has been hundreds of years since slavery existed so people should just get over it by now instead of expecting White people to keep on apologizing for things they didn’t personally do.

Everything about this is wrong. Every. Single. Thing.

I made a Facebook status recently about the whole White apology thing that I’d like to reshare here. No one is asking for any White person to apologize for being born White just like Feminists aren’t asking for men to apologize for having been born with dicks. If you were in a cafeteria and noticed that the person next to you received 25% less food for the same price you paid and that everyone in the room that looked different than you, a small group, had the same problem, no one would ask you to stand up and apologize for what you were given. You aren’t in control of that. But, it would be fucking nice if you asked management, “why does this keep happening?” By showing your solidarity and admitting that you see the same issues as the people claiming that they have less than you, you actually bring the problem to light so that it can be fixed. When you represent the majority group, when most people in positions of power look like you, it takes your voice and your input to help level the playing field for all human beings.

To deny the existence of systemic racism when you’re in the dominant group keeps disparities happening and stalls progress.

Post-racial America isn’t post racial. In the past several years, the country cannot go even a few months without a black male being shot, erroneously, by police. That’s not to say that it is only black males. It’s not. Women of all races are getting raped by police and the poor are repetitively targeted. But the chances that you’ll be shot by police or even arrested for ACTUALLY committing a crime when you’re a financially sound White male are very slim. Meanwhile, Black guys are shot for looking at air rifles TO BUY in Wal-Mart. They’re stopped on the street and frisked for being Black because racial profiling continues to be allowed and continues to be considered good policy. In fact, in NYC where minorities (combined) make up around half the population, those minorities make up 80% of the stops police make. Of all the frisk searches conducted during these stops, only 8% happen to Whites. Check out this study by the ACLU, for example, that shows Black people are more than 3 times more likely to be arrested for marijuana even though both Whites and Blacks use the substance at approximately the same rate. The numbers are out there. It may be easier to ignore them, but the facts are painfully clear when you take the time to research them.

When it comes to looking at the numbers in black and white, no pun intended, of who police are killing more often, it is almost impossible to determine. The FBI crime statistics are reported on a voluntary basis and are not examined in any way. There’s no way to incorporate data for police shootings that aren’t deemed “justifiable” homicides in which the police officer was determined to have used an appropriate amount of force, and the numbers of justifiable homicides only concern felons. But, when this data is examined, it shows a telling pattern. When the reasons for shooting a “felon” are less clear, the likelihood of the felon being Black is far disproportional to the Black population. It’s a scary thought…that being Black makes you a target for people who are supposed to serve and protect.

So, regardless of what you believe about the culpability of Michael Brown as we await the results of an investigation on the matter, the real point is this—the situation never would have escalated this far if Michael Brown had been White. Had he been White, the officer in question never would have told him to get the fuck back on the side walk and act with aggression the way Officer Wilson was said to have acted. There never would have been a situation where there was any kind of struggle through the window of that police cruiser. There never would have been a situation where a kid was gun down with his hands up in the middle of the street if he had been White.

The denial so many in this nation have about that is preventing this country from moving forward, and I, for one, am tired of regressing towards Jim Crow days…

And, as with every Sunday, this has been part of Sunday Confessions with More than Cheese and Beer. Check out the other link ups today. I imagine some of them will be far less political than mine. ha. Most of us need a break from it, so be sure to give them a read and check out her Facebook page for anonymous confessions!