Dinner Doggies

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 7 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

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I didn't have the best childhood. It wasn't easy by any means. There were a lot of drugs, a lot of alcohol, a lot of abuse. We were fairly poor, always struggling, and I had so much anger for so long, so much resentment, that I didn't get to have a "normal" childhood. I didn't get innocence and sleepovers and the warmth of those memories. I couldn't even remember a lot of things beyond a few fuzzy and painful events I'd rather not have retained to be honest. There are entire years that seem missing.

Lots of people have decided for me that those memories are repressed and that I need repressed memory therapy--that 80s craze that took the U.S. by storm right alongside Satanic Panic--but all that has been debunked multiple times over. The truth of the matter is that my brain was in flight or fight mode so often, things often didn't stick. When those parts of your brain are activated to help you process a situation and make quick decisions, memory suffers. Self preservation processes take precedence over making it a memory.

Unless I was actually smiling and enjoying myself away from my parents, I don't remember much, and I'm okay with that. I don't have to remember to be whole. I don't need those memories to work through my shit. I've done so without them. And--MOSTLY--gotten over the resentment.

But boy do I remember the things that got me through. Toys, a few shows, movies, games...anything that helped keep me grounded or let me soar.

One of my best escapes was books because we were in such a rural area that cable was never an option, and we only had a super small collection of movies (most that we did watch were rented). I read a book a day at least more often than not...sometimes while hiding out in my closet or outside under a tree picking ants off my socks. I read to leave home, to be free, to live a better, easier, funnier, whackier, warmer life built by someone else's words in my own imagination. Or sometimes my own words. I started writing my own stories in grade school-- ghost stories scarier than my own life obviously with some cuddly cute cats thrown in the mix. I often went for the dark side. If it was weird or scary, I wanted to read it. I started Dean Koontz (who I never much liked) and Stephen King by 6th grade. There were entire worlds of spooky shit built in my head because it gave me something to be afraid of that I had chosen. It wasn't a ranting and raving high person who was supposed to love me and take care of me making my heart race in fear; it was a make-believe monster not a real one. I had control over it. I could put the book down. I could turn the lights on or hide under the covers or fling the book across the room. I wasn't beholden to that fear the way I had to be at home. The devil you know...

None of those make for good dinner guests though. Stephen King characters? Nah. I mean, I guess some people have a Pennywise fetish since Bill Skarsgard played IT, but that ain't me. We ain't having that man over for dinner and hoping things get freaky...well. freakier.  I have my likes but uh...we're just gonna move on.

One of my favorite set of memories is playing "airplane" with my little brother. We'd drag out these cheap little sleeping bags we had into the middle of his bedroom floor, open them completely, and spread them out. We'd have "seats" set up like they were on the aisles of the plane, and and put some of our toys in to fill up the plane. Then one of us would fly and one would be on the plane ride. We'd go anywhere in the world we wanted certainly away from home and the pain we had there. And our in-flight movie would always be Scooby Doo Meets the Boo Brothers.

By no means was this particular movie relegated to just fake flights. We had it on VHS and literally wore it out. There was one scene in particular where Scooby fell out of Shaggy's jeep (it was just Shaggy, Scooby, and Scrappy in this one not the whole gang and mystery machine) into a puddle and jumps up chewing his nails and freaking out (and makes a noise very much like my Dane now makes when he gets a scare) and we'd howl in giggles until we hurt and rewind it to do it again. It was just our thing. And to be honest, it's still something I run to when I need a pick me up, when I'm really sick, or when I need to decompress. It's been a favorite for nearly all my life.

My great Dane and Scooby would eat and drool and be very much like Scooby-Dum, Scooby's cousin, and Scooby when they had a reunion--two goofballs being absolutely clumsy and full of love. And okay maybe a little bit dumb too but I do have to say great danes are really smart dogs despite how often they trip over their own feet and look like they're completely clueless. Scrappy would probably join in the fun but try to be the Boss like it always is with smaller dogs and giant ones. The new, tiny dog we have now that I wrote about last month is absolutely the Boss of this house.

But since me and Shaggy go way back, I imagine we'd get a little high (y'all know Shaggy be smoking weed), snack, and listen to some of my vinyl records while he was super awkward. I say that like I wouldn't be. I'm always super awkward.

Sounds like a perfect evening. And very possible we wouldn't even have to have a monster-free night given my company. There's always some rich guy in a Creeper mask waiting to steal a fortune right?

Oh how much that applies.

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Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts.  Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado                  https://www.bakinginatornado.com/2020/03/remember-when-secret-subject-swap.html

Spatulas on Parade                    https://spatulasonparade.blogspot.com

Wandering Web Designer             https://wanderingwebdesigner.com/blog

Part-time Working Hockey Mom    https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/2020/03/secret-subject-swap-ireland.html

A ‘lil HooHaa                             https://hoohaa.com/?p=14739

Southern Belle Charm                     https://www.southernbellecharm.com

Visual Literature

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

school ~ books ~ difficulty ~ letter ~ budget

They were submitted by: https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/

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This is my 5th year homeschooling. I think. Time has lost all meaning in the brain fogged existence I lead planning lessons and grading papers and begging, pleading for this child to pull more adjectives out of his ass than "good" or "interesting" when writing an essay and to actually learn to write in such a way that I no longer need a decoder ring to decipher almost every letter in the answers to the questions he's assigned.

There are not enough words in the English language to describe the difficulty of teaching a child, at least MY child, at home. It is a drain of patience and my precious little energy considering what is already drained with me/cfs, and I have realized all too keenly that my child was perfectly constructed so as to be able to tune out almost every single thing I say. He thinks "skimming" counts as reading. He skips rules and takes shortcuts and refuses to ask for help even when he desperately needs it. He loses every. single. pencil. I buy him which I blame all on his father's half of his genes (only half-jokingly).

It's a lot of responsibility. I have to know what the average kid in his grade level should be learning, what the state standards are, and the laws involving homeschooling. I have to make it fun but informative, challenging but ability-appropriate, varied enough to hold his interest but not so varied we lose the sense of routine that helps him stay focused despite being unmedicated with ADHD. I have to prepare this kid who is terrible at written tests (but gets the answers 100% right every time if we do it orally 😑) for a standardized test every 3 years to make sure we're on track with our learning. It's work, hard work. We don't always get along during the school day. My expectations and his motivation are hardly ever at the same level. We end a lot of days stressed the fuck out and in need of a breather.

But.

I don't think either of us would have it any other way. He has not yet answered affirmatively each year when I ask him how he wants to handle things regarding going back to public school, and even though he drives me crazy so much of the time...I like the control I have over what he learns, and I can make sure his education is tailored to him personally. We choose classes together. I choose the books which means I don't go with the ones tailored just for Georgia students used by the school system here that whitewashes much of history and skips a lot of evolution. It's my budget not a school budget dependent upon the overall test results of the students. If we need extra books, we get them. We handle our own supplies and skip a lot of germs. We work on our own schedule meaning we stay up late and sleep in most of the time. If we need a day off, we take one and make it up elsewhere. When he has a grip on a lesson, we move on, and when he doesn't, we repeat it. It's less stress for him than going to an actual school, and he still gets plenty of socialization. And we're obviously doing something right since he tested more than 2 grades above his level this past year in reading comprehension, language skills, and math.

So difficult...but also worth it.

Right now we're doing pre-algebra, biology, grammar, ancient world history, and computer fundamentals. But I also added film studies in place of literature this year, and so far it has been amazingly fun and has gotten us sharing movies and talking about them more in depth every school night. I happen to think visual stories can be as important as written ones, and the work that goes into them can be fascinating. Understanding lighting, color, continuity, transitions, camera angles, and the like can tell you more about the stories you're watching. We've watched Citizen Kane, Jaws (compared to Wet Hot American Summer), What We Do in the Shadows, Almost Famous and This Is Spinal Tap. We watched parts os Sin City and clips from Clerks. Pan's Labyrinth, SLC Punk, Taxi Driver, Snatch, and Scott Pilgrim Vs The World... and we're only 3 weeks into the year. 

I share with him insights as we watch pointing out the elements he has read about in his film studies class. I taught him why the color palette of Jaws is so calm and neutral or why Sin City is in mostly black and white. He learned what film noir is. He knows now why some characters are bathed in light and some in shadow in certain scenes. We talk about why a shot is wide or why it's a close up, what the intent is for the viewer and what the director is trying to say without saying it with dialogue. We looked at Guy Ritchie's signature montages and how he uses transitions and narration so successfully and so uniquely that you can watch a movie and just know when he's the director. And we have so much left to cover--genres, directorial style, plot, chopped narratives and straightforward ones, what defines a "cult classic," scores that change the entire movie, movies that are a product of the culture in which they were created and more.

Now that we've started, he can't stop. Even when he watches movies for fun, he notices the things we've gone over. Finally my child can actually listen to me talk about something and appreciate the knowledge I'm giving (knowledge I had to teach myself)! It only took how many years?! Either way, I'll take this win and put it in my motivation bank for the next time I look at his worse-than-doctor-scribble handwriting that might say plates ate the sordid phantom or might say hydrogen is good.

***Before I go, I do want to add that he listens to me about other things because I like to talk shit about historical characters. it's fun and more relateable for me to call Christopher Columbus an incapable, lying mf than what he can read in a book. it's like he has Samuel L. Jackson for a history teacher.

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Baking In A Tornado https://www.bakinginatornado.com/2018/08/no-more-pencils-use-your-words.html

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/2018/08/plastered.html

The Bergham Chronicles https://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

The Blogging 911 http://theblogging911.com/blog

Cognitive Script https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/2018/08/puppies-and-tornadoes.html

Part-Time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/2018/08/use-your-words-parking-lot-picnic.html

My Brand of Crazy https://sarahsbrandcrazy.blogspot.com

You Want a Toe? I'll get you a toe...

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 10 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.
My secret subject is: Do you have an all-time favorite movie? One that you love no matter how many times you see it?

It was submitted by: Karen @ Baking In a Tornado. Her link and swap post can be found below my answer.

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I don’t know that I can tout myself as a film critic, but I do love visual stories as much as written ones. I have a list of favorite directors whose movies I will always see even if they don’t quite make it onto my favorites lists. I have favorite genres, favorite films, and lists of films based on arbitrary qualities like favorite films to watch when I’m sick or Top 5 favorite movies about the workplace/drugs/music/etc.

I like quantifying things. I do it with music, television, and books. I have fun making these lists, categorizing stories in this way. It adds a bit of depth to reflect on one particular aspect and how it affects the overall story good or bad, what it says about humanity in general or just the characters in the tale.

With films, I find it difficult to step away and disconnect from the emotions on screen, so most of my favorites aren’t tearjerkers. I want to feel those emotions, I do, but if a movie makes me sob, chances are, I’m only going to watch it the once at most. Life is tragic enough for me without falling in love with characters that will be ripped from me over and over and over again. And I’m not at all a fan of romances either. Love doesn’t work out the way it does in the movies, and I think it skews people’s expectations of how relationships are supposed to go. I know what I like and what I don’t like pretty well. I quantify those loves and hates based on whatever reasons I feel like at the time. 

But do I have a Greatest Of All Time selection, a goat, if you will—a film that transcends everything that calls to me every time it’s on, whenever I’m in a dark place and need a pick me up?

You bet your ass I do.

from my living room

The Big Lebowski came out in 1998 and was my first introduction to the Coen Brothers and really the first movie I remember Jeff Bridges from. That’s just, like, your opinion, man was my whole thing back in those days, and The Dude’s way of life, his abide lifestyle, has been an influence on the zen part of me that gives no shits what people think of me. Walter and his no chill having ass is that part of me that absolutely goes nuts on people about politics. The movie is quotable and quirky with strange drug fueled cut scenes and an amazing cast of actors and actresses that I have always and will always admire. It’s perfection.

I don’t know that it’s the first movie that ever made me really understand what a film could be or mean, but it’s one of the first that fed the weirdest little part of me and become something obsession-worth. Pulp Fiction, Dazed and Confused, Where the Buffalo Roam/Fear and Loathing, Snatch, Pan’s Labyrinth, THE Labyrinth, A Life Aquatic, High Fidelity, No Country for Old Men… they feed my inner weirdo with an artistic flair that can’t be matched, but it’s The Dude who hits just the right spot every time. It doesn't matter where or when I see it playing, I always want to watch it through and recite the lines along with the actors. And sometimes if I just need to get my Lebowski fix, I'll pop in the DVD because of course I own it.

I’ll leave off with a few top 5 lists though. The Dude may be a kindred spirit, but his is certainly not the only story I love.

Top 5 Favorite Directors
--the Coens, David Fincher, Wes Anderson, Guy Ritchie, Tim Burton

Top 5 Favorite Sick Day movies

Ferris Beuller’s Day Off, The Breakfast Club, Home Alone, Elf, Scooby Doo on Zombie Island

Top 5 Will Ferrell Movies

Stepbrothers, Land of the Lost, Everything Must Go, Stranger Than Fiction, Elf (Superstar gets an honorable mention

Top 5 Bill Murray films
Rushmore, Ghostbusters, Kingpin, Broken Flowers, Groundhog Day

Top 5 dark and quirky

Beetlejuice, Addams Family, Rocky Horror, Young Frankenstein, The Nightmare Before Christmas

Top 5 80s Guilty Pleasures
Pretty in Pink, Sixteen Candles, The Breakfast Club, Weird Science, Uncle Buck

And here is evidence of my film obsessions from my living room

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Here are the links to the rest of this week's submissions:

Baking In A Tornado http://www.bakinginatornado.com/2017/09/film-this-secret-subject-swap.html

Cognitive Script https://cognitivescript.blogspot.com/2017/09/the-old-lady-shuffle.html

The Blogging 911 http://theblogging911.com/blog

The Lieber Family Blog http://www.thelieberfamily.com/2017/09/my-nobel-prize.html

The Bergham Chronicles http://berghamchronicles.blogspot.com

Southern Belle Charm http://www.southernbellecharm.com

Bookworm in the Kitchen http://www.bookwormkitchen.com/

Never Ever Give Up Hope http://batteredhope.blogspot.com

Part-time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/2017/09/secret-subject-swap-big-spender.html

Let's Play Favorites

A favorite hip shaking song

I remember taking all those MySpace surveys with immeasurable fondness, so I thought I’d sort of make my own list of favorites and some other stuff I’ve found in old copy/paste surveys in remembrance of one of my favorite wastes of time for Sunday Confessions. Hope you'll read through and maybe copy/paste your own answers onto your blog or in the comments! Have fun with it :)

Basics

Name:  jenniy

Age: 33

Hometown: Eldorendo

Hair color: Naturally, medium brown. Now, brown with green streaks

Eye color: Green

Favorites

Top 5 Music: stoner rock, sludge metal, 90s grunge, indie garage rock, blues

Top 5 Bands: Graveyard, Allman Bros Band, The Sword, Red Fang, The Black Keys

Top 5 Albums: Allman Bros Band-Live at Filmore East, Graveyard-Lights Out, The Black Keys-Magic Potion, Baroness-First and Second EPrepressing (both eps on one album), Jimi Hendrix—Are You Experienced?

Cover band: Me First & the Gimme Gimmes

Cover song: Beastie Boys and Biz Markie doing Elton John’s Bennieand the Jets

Author: Stephen King

Book: The White Tiger by Aravind Adiga

Top 5 Movies: The Big Lebowski, No Country for Old Men, Dazed and Confused, The Breakfast Club, Pulp Fiction

Top 5 Directors: The Coens, Tarantino, Guy Ritchie, David Fincher, Kubrick

Smell: Jasmine

Perfume: Poe’s Tobacco by Tokyo Milk

Food: Sushi

Fruit: Cherries!!!

T.V. Show: Freaks and Geeks

Childhood Cartoon: Ducktales

Video Game: Parasite Eve

Color: Teal

Drink: Whiskey and ginger ale                       

Holiday:  Halloween

Either, or

cream soda or root beer: cream soda all the way, baby

tater tots, curly fries, or French fries: tater tots

comedy or drama: comedy

Dill Pickles or Sweet: Dill. If you don’t like dill pickles, we can’t be friends.

Beer, Wine, or Liquor: Whiskey

Pizza or Tacos: TACOS

Cat or Dog: Ducks. ha. I have some of everything

Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, or Toad: Princess Peach all the way.

Tattoos or piercings: Tattoos.

Singles or Full Albums: Full Albums

Republican or Democrat: Neither

Morning or Night: Nighttime is the right time.

Right or left handed: a little of both, but mostly right

call or text: text. If it can’t be texted, it’s not worth knowing.

HAVE YOU EVER

Gotten a ticket?: yes     

Been out of the USA?:   no

Triggered a fire alarm?: on purpose, no. But cooking accidents do happen

Been toilet papering?:   no

Done something illegal?: um, yes. plenty of times.

Been caught by the cops?: no

Wanted to move out from where your currently living?: I think everyone does at some point or another, but these days, I love where I am for the most part. I don’t get people who blame all their problems on their location.

Been ashamed of your family?: One side of it, yes.

Been go cart racing?: no

Broken a window?: yes, throwing my purse at my ex. I can’t even remember why now.

Been attracted to an animated character?: Mayyyybe. Ok, I guess I had a little thing for Shaggy from Scooby Doo. That probably says more about me than the rest of these questions.

Been in a car accident?: yes, but not driving

Caught your hair on fire?: no, thankfully

Done karaoke?: no, I have awful stage fright.

Tripped in front of an entire audience?: I’m a klutz, so more than likely, yes. Earlier today I stepped in the cat’s water bowl. That should tell you something about how well my feet function. My heels are all like kitten-size or thicker, retro-style because I do not trust myself to walk on a stem not much bigger than a toothpick and not kill myself.

Cut your own hair?: all the time. No one else has cut my hair in years. I cut my bff’s hair too.

Had surgery?:    yes, I’ve had my gall bladder out and had an emergency c-section

Broken/fractured a bone?: my nose

IN A GUY/GIRL

Funny/serious: funny

Competitive/laid back:  laid back

Good dancer/singer: dancer. duh. The sex is likely better that way ;)

Tall/short: either

Long/short hair: No preference. I’ve dated people with both.

Sweet/Attitude: A little sass goes a long way.

Outgoing/shy:   I’m not shy, but I am most definitely introverted, and it’s easier to be around other people who are than a person who is extremely extroverted. But, I do prefer outgoing introverts that keep me at least somewhat social.

Bearded/Clean-shaven: No beard, no service. Period.

Dependent/Independent: I’m far too independent, so I think this question is a bit tricky. One person shouldn’t be an extreme of either, so I’d have to say a little of both. You can’t be afraid to ask for help the way that I often am. A little dependence is a good thing. Clinginess is not. It’s about balance.

YOUR BEDROOM

Clothes on the floor?:    No, never! But, I do have some folded up on top of the antique stereo in my room. I put those away regularly, so it never gets out of hand, but I do throw things there for convenience during the week.

What color are your walls?: teal accent wall. The other walls are gray. And the moldings are black. Not that you can really tell with all the things I have hanging on said walls.

What is your bedspread and curtains?:  My bedspread is a floral sugar skull design and my curtains are black.

TV/game system:  In my room, just a TV and record player, but we do have a ps3, a ps4, wiiU, an old modded xbox, and some handheld game systems.

Do you need a drink by your bed when you sleep?: YES. Double Yes.

How many windows do you have?: 2 in my bedroom.

Light/Deep sleeper?:     Light. Any little thing can wake me up especially creepy kid stares.

How many pillows do you sleep with?:   2—one firm gel pillow and a softer one under that

Do you sleepwalk/snore/talk in your sleep?:       Snore, definitely.

RANDOM QUESTIONS

Are you more like your mom or dad?:    An equal mix of both, probably. Some ways I’m like my mom, and in a lot of ways, I’m like my dad. I’ve taken the qualities I’ve gotten from them and twisted them into my own in a pretty balanced way.

Do you mind getting up and speaking in front of a large audience?: Can’t do it without having a panic attack.

have you ever made out with 2 different people in one night?:  um, yes. I don’t want to say more than that, though. ha.

What color underwear are you wearing right now?:  gray with teal and pink polka dots

What 3 things can always be found in your refrigerator?:  coffee creamer, dill pickles, and spicy mustard

Ever worn your pajamas to places other than your house?:  I wont even wear pajamas in my own yard, so that’s a resounding no. No, no, no. I get dressed up to run errands and do other things despite how busy I am throughout the day. It’s a mode of self expression that I truly enjoy. I wouldn’t be caught dead in my pajamas outside my house.

Name 5 of the most important things in your life:  My son, writing, music, family and friends, my pen pals

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Be sure to check out the other confessions this Sunday over at the More Than Cheese and Beer page!! And as always thanks for reading :)