I Want to LOL Your Face, Assholes

There's a fine line between an annoyance--a pet peeve--and something that pisses you off. At least that's the way it is for me. If we were talking about the latter I could climb on my pile of soapboxes and go on all day long about ignorance, sexism, institutional racism, classism, our system (capitalistic oligarchy that it is), biased judicial system, ignorance (doubly so, eh?), and more. By the time I was done, in all honestly, your ears might be bleeding or at least you'd walk away dizzy with facts, ideas, thoughts...or you may be in a full rage from the cognitive dissonance your're railing against.

Either way, being passionate about issues to the point that lack of understanding of those issues can drive you to anger is not exactly the same as a pet peeve.

There are plenty of things I could discuss in terms of pet peeves as well--using text speak in regular every day conversations, not knowing the difference between your and you're (not making a typo...really not knowing the fucking difference), calling me pet names especially from someone I don't know well (hun makes me want to vomit)...

But, perhaps the top of the list is the gross overuse of LOL.

Text conversation:

Me: My roommate accidentally killed our cat today moving the couch. 

"Friend": Really? lol how did that happen?

WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU MEAN YOU'RE LAUGHING OUT LOUD AT MY DEAD CAT?

Seriously? You don't know what to say so you automatically go to "lol?" My cat died and all you got is fucking "lol." Well, that's the end of that friendship.

Dating site message: 

Id luv 2 entertain u all nite long, baby lol

So, do you really want to entertain me or is this a joke? What are we laughing about here besides the fact that you actually just sent me that message? On top of that...this is like so many pet peeves in one. Do you want to make my fucking brain implode?

Facebook Chat: 

Friend: hey, hru 2day? lol

Me: I'm fine. How are you?

Friend: good. wyd? lol

Me: *ignore*

Are you really laughing every time you send a message? Are you high? Is there some joke implied that I'm not getting here? Do you know what English is? Do you even have a fully formed brain?

I just really don't understand the appeal of the whole lol thing to begin with especially in conjunction with anything and everything. I swear to fictional baby jesus that if I told someone I had brain cancer I would get "that sucks lol" as a response. It's like automatic for some people now matter what the topic and it really just makes my skin crawl.

 If you are not really laughing out loud, don't use it or I will LOL your face, and I can promise you it won't end well.


This has been part of Sunday Confessions with More than Cheese and Beer. The prompt, of course, was pet peeves. Check our her page for the rest of the bloggers who linked up today!