Good riddance

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

home ~ grey ~ good ~ bath ~ necklace

They were submitted by: https://www.bakinginatornado.com

_________

It's a good home, Kris said as she looked around in the grey light of coming day. She touched the necklace her mom had given her as a housewarming present. She could still hear her mom's voice full of love and joy when she put it on, "i know you have all the vintage kitchen stuff you could ever need, so i wanted to get something to celebrate you and the life you'll build here instead."

She was good with words and gifts.

The necklace was vintage too. And her birthstone, a sapphire.

Kris took another look around, another stroll. There was the sink where her dog Molly had her first bath. The living room where she and Dan put up their first Christmas tree together...but there were the marks from their last fight too. His blood stained the carpet where he smashed a beer bottle to threaten her with and burn marks from his cigarette butts. There were still marks on the floor from where he smashed her sewing machine but even that couldn't stop her learning to sew and now here she was with her own clothing line. Hers. Without him.

The entire house was full of ghosts. Ghosts of pain, of joy, of lost innocence. She had loved this house so much and the loss of that love haunted her as much as the memories.

She touched the necklace again and stared out the sliding glass doors. To help up the value of the home, she'd decided to put an inground pool in the backyard. Really it was less about value than it was about attracting interest. This wasnt exactly a popular neighborhood now that most of the street was either rundown or Airbnb rentals.

Well. That wasn't exactly the truth either, but it was a great story. No one would look for Dan under that pool not when everyone thought he'd run off more than a year ago while she kept him in a freezer in a storage locker downtown while the police looked around a little. He'd always threatened to leave her hanging. Anyone who'd spent any time around him had heard it so it wasn't exactly a hard sell. She was sure everyone the cops interviewed had said he was a bully and a brute and worth about as much as a pile of dog shit. Everyone knew about his many many many infidelities over the years, and she'd been smart enough to get copies of texts and messages between him and the latest. It definitely gave the story some believable support.

She'd been sure to throw out all the antifreeze containers in the garage and tidy the place up after the job was done, and honestly it wasn't so hard to play the sad wife left alone by an abusive, cheating prick. Her anger was real. Her sadness over the loss of the best years of her life was real. She very much had been beaten down and worn out and disgusted with herself.

But the pride she felt for standing up for herself put a spark in her belly, a warmth that smouldered every day she woke up free. And now here she was, doing things she dreamt about while wincing from her cut lip and bruised ribs.

The pool company was coming to finish up their work today and the final piece would be in place and after that she was going to see about getting another sapphire added to the necklace. She had a second chance to build her life and had every intention on taking it.

___________

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:



Baking In A Tornado https://www.bakinginatornado.com/

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Home, Unmourned

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

many ~ miracles ~ mayonnaise ~ monetary ~ munching ~ Michigan

It was submitted by: https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

_________________

I grew up thinking the same way a lot of weird, gay kids do that grow up in rural areas especially the South--that all my problems were about where I was not that I was having issues thar people the world over even in large cities have. I thought running away and starting over would be the ticket. That everything could just be so different if I wasn't here.

I think it took a lot longer to appreciate where I am than some because of the stigma of the south but I finally got to this part. The love for the place I've called home my entire life has only grown exponentially since I realized most of my problems would be the same anywhere else I live but at least here I have a little peace and quiet and very few worries about other people.

I think the naivety that comes with youth no matter how traumatic it was always tends to paint the grass greener somewhere else. We can visually see people in our age group all over the world now and still our problems get boiled down to location, location, location. People cheat everywhere. The pay is miserable everywhere. Opportunity sucks kind of everywhere because there may not be many jobs in the sticks but there are also fewer folks competing for them. Monetary troubles exist everywhere...even when the pay is better so is the cost of living. That's not to say a change of scenery can't be good for some folks, but I think there's an understanding that can only come with age about how little location can actually be blamed for.

I mean, could I move to Michigan? Sure. But why would I? I can't even get the right mayonnaise there. I could move to California but where in that state do I get to watch love bugs landing in Spanish moss on 100 year old live oaks?

Why would I move somewhere with at least as many problems (minus some of the gerrymandering) when I could just stay here with so much culture and diversity and amazing food? Why go have some weird regional chip in Nevada when I could be in a place that feels like home munching on salt and vinegar boiled peanuts?

Life is full of tiny miracles, and I think one of mine is coming to the realization that the South is home. It's home in a way nowhere else could even begin to touch. It's beautiful in a way nothing else could be for me. It's comforting and mysterious and did I mention the food? Greens and BBQ and grits and black eye peas and cornbread and peach cobbler and sweet tea? The diversity? The south has more of that than any other region. We're gayer than any other region. And maybe we fight harder than any others to be better even while the rest of the country puts so much of this country's issues at our feet alone. We laugh along with the jokes about deserving to die in hurricanes and go back to work while everyone else pretends racism is an us problem. I love that I can look around me and see people who've grown into a similar love for their home and our accents and our ways and fight like hell to prove it's beauty to everyone. It's worth it.

Baking In A Tornado https://www.bakinginatornado.com/

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Vows, undeserved

So, we usually do Secret Subject Swap where we each get a prompt someone else submitted and no one knows who got what until the day we publish. It's been a blast writing and reading so many different perspectives, but it's been a lot of years now, and most people have sort of fallen off doing these challenges. I've kept going even with intense insomnia that keeps me from writing as well as I used to in part because this has been such a big part of my life for so long and because I know having a deadline keeps me writing. But mostly I just wasn't ready to say goodbye to people whose only real connection to me is these posts. But for the second time in just a couple years, one of the few regulars passed away. Today, our post is about her. Every prompt is hers, a memorial post from everyone in a way, and honestly probably one of our last as a group. It's been rad, y'all. I might still be here righting but I'm just not sure right now.




My “Secret Subject” is:

What is the most embarrassing thing to ever happen to you in public? Tell us about it.

______________________

I've never had a soul crushingly embarrassing experience that I can reflect back on and still think was as mortifying as it appeared at the time. There have been little things here or there. There were times in my childhood that I thought I'd never be free of the weight of but looking back now I wonder what the big deal even was. Nothing that seemed soul crushingly embarrassing at the time has remained so. Does it count if it wasn't necessarily embarrassing at the time and just increasingly got worse?

Because I was married to a dumb asshole. And I married that dumbasshole in front of dozens of people who knew he was a dumbasshole and couldn't for the life of them get me to see it and he turned into an even bigger dumbasshole than even any of them could have predicted.

And I think about it with the complicated lenses of present me and it is fucking mortifying how naive I was and God all of it is just so goddamn sad.

I married someone who wasn't even an adult yet. For that matter neither was I. We weren't even 25 when we got together and moved in together. We weren't even 25 when we got married a year later. I had a kid at 25. With that dumbasshole. And instead of growing up together, he just seemed to constantly reverse. Every step forward he might make would come crashing to a halt then he backpedaled. He lied. About everything all the time. And when he got caught I was the bad guy for accusing him. He spent money like he actually had the ability to keep a full time job. He refused to learn how to do even the easiest of tasks and once just before I found out I was pregnant he let his still teenaged best friend pull him around the yard with the lawnmower and ended up in the emergency room. He gaslit me and punched holes in things. He drank too much too often He cheated at the end. It was so many things that left me looking like an absolute fool.

And the worst is when I tried talking to my friends or my mom, it was "well told you so" from them and "you expect too much out of men" from her. Maybe I do but I don't think that means stick with someone that makes me hate myself.

We split and he put every woman he ever dated above my kid for years. He wouldn't pay child support. He left me all the bills then begged me for a place to stay with one of his girlfriends or they'd be homeless but wouldn't pay rent and left me sitting with her many nights while he went out cheating on her so I had to be the one to comfort my ex's newbie. He constantly stole money out of my checking account and laughed about it to our friends who laughed at me with him especially when he'd insist I was just the crazy ex who'd die alone. He has a kid with one of these women that he's never seen. He's never paid her a dime. And then he knocked someone up who demanded he marry her or not see his kid again so he did and for a few years he really gave it a half hearted effort. He had kid after kid with this woman that he admitted in private he couldn't stand. He asked me to give her makeup tips. And fashion advice. He let her treat my kid like shit and they both made him uncomfortable with the way they talked about him. He didn't even have so much as a toothbrush at their house and when he eventually asked to not be treated that way and to have things there like he was part of their family too, they stopped speaking to him. Right after he came out of the closet and endured many a gay joke and being called princess all the time.

He hasn't spoken to his own kid in years. He missed every single bit of his own child's teens because he's a dumbasshole and I just keep being increasingly mortified that I was ever so fucking stupid.

Forever, every single time I hear the name Erik, I'm going to be embarrassed. But Im absolutely over the moon about the fact that he ended up with the life he deserves stuck with someone he doesn't like with kids he didn't plan on and absolutely fucking miserable. Good job, buddy. Karma got you.

_________________________________

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

What TF Sarah https://crazymamallama.blogspot.com

Part-time Working Hockey Mom https://thethreegerbers.blogspot.ch/

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Crow's Feet Part 2

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are: donate ~ plan ~ weeks ~ change ~ senator

They were submitted by: https://www.bakinginatornado.com

The continuation from last week

_____________________________

I sped to the nearest police station a few blocks from the spa, but it was closed whoever it was stayed on my ass until the second I whipped into the parking lot. I sat there watching and waiting for them to come back by or run up on me on foot from the shadows, but it didnt happen. I sat there in my car shaking and panicking for I don't even know how long. An hour? Two hours? 

I couldn't make myself get out. I was terrified they'd be waiting. And I knew how it would sound. I knew how they reacted already and I'd sound like an absolute lunatic. I can't even begin to stress the good reputation the owners had in town. They were rich, rich. Not "we can afford everything we need and want" rich but like "we could never spend this money" rich. 

But I had to try, right?

I got out and ran inside, heart racing. I tried explaining what I'd seen to the person at the desk in the front lobby... I thought she might really be listening when she told me to hold on a second and went and got some officers from the back. They asked me to repeat myself and nearly every single one busted out laughing. Like just cracking the fuck up at my expense. I should have known better. I think if they wouldn't have been bothered by the paperwork I probably would have ended up in a mental hospital--which in hindsight probably would have saved me at least for awhile. But as it was I left while their laughter was still ringing in my ears. I think I blushed straight down to the tips of my toes.

I needed a plan.

I didn't go home that night. Luckily I kept some spare clothes in the car I could change into and I had some money in savings--thanks to this crazy bullshit job--so I checked myself into a hotel right in the middle of town. Oh yeah I know the cliche is the outskirts but that seemed like a great way to get kidnapped away from the public eye, and if I was going to get grabbed for seeing what they were doing, I was going to make a scene. Might as well right? Make it hard for them to explain it all away especially if I was probably going to die either way. Those guys chasing me didn't look too thrilled.

Once there I ordered some takeout and locked myself in. I had to think of something.

I slept hard that night and woke into the nightmare of what I'd seen last night really settling in. Mindy and I weren't making wedding plans by any means but I loved her. Seeing her screaming at me to get out even in those circumstances...even when she was...when she was cut apart like that. What the fuck were they doing to us? Mindy, Shonda, nova, Sam, erin... Where were the rest?

I sat in my hotel room for days frantically trying to figure out who to talk to. I contacted news outlets, indie journalists, podcasters to no avail. I got the same response as the cops. I settled on calling the closest FBI office because what if it was black market organs? The feds would definitely be interested in that right?

Well, they were. Just the wrong kind of interested. Unfortunately. Well, unfortunately for us anyway.

I got a call back from the office on my cell phone pretty quickly. The guy, Agent Wilkerson, wanted to meet me at the hotel. Immediately. He didn't ask many questions over the phone after I told him my story. He didn't sound surprised. He didn't sound incredulous the way I expected, and something should have clicked for me that things weren't right but it didn't. I was so fucking naive. I think I felt so incredibly alone and afraid that I just wanted someone to tell things to who sounded like they believed me instead of laughing about how crazy I must be. And so I told him.

He arrived in minutes almost like he'd already been on the way here. He flashed his badge at the peephole so I'd open the door and pushed me inside.

"You need to be more careful. They could be looking for you."

He took a look around the room, checked the bathroom, opened the blinds and checked for who knows what. Recording devices probably? I don't know. And then he asked if I'd be willing to testify.

"I mean sure but don't you need to find proof?"

"Oh we have been on this case a long time. Your testimony could finally be the nail in the coffin for these assholes. We can get you in protective custody today. Right now if you're ready."

It really didn't take me long to make that decision. Mindy flashed across my mind and how could I refuse. I nodded, crying, and he gave me a hat and sunglasses to wear then ushered me out of the room.

I wasn't really paying attention at first but my heart sank in my chest when I looked around and realized we were almost back at the resort.

"Where are we going? Why are we in this part of town?"

He ignored me.

"Come on, man!! They're going to kill me if they see me."

"You'll live long enough to donate your body to the Senator who paid for you."

Well, anyway, that was weeks ago now. He brought me back to the spa, and I've just kind of been here in basically a small hospital room completely and totally locked in except I think i figured out a way to escape. I know they've been monitoring some blood work of mine trying to get certain numbers up to get the maximum benefits for whoever it is they've giving me too. I still don't understand the whole process because they don't talk to me, but I'm running out of time. I do know that. They talk enough to each other that Ive been able to piece a few things together. And I do know that they're going to take as much off me as they can while keeping me alive. I don't know what they do with the parts but it sounds like thry figured out a way to reverse aging by at least 10 years or some shit. Probably rich people grifting other rich people and we got to die for it. yay.

I don't know what Im going to do if I make it out. I can't use my money. The police will find me for sure if I do. I can't go home. I don't even have clothes... But I have to try right? Surely someone out there will help me, right?

__________________

Baking In A Tornado https://www.bakinginatornado.com/

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

But, Above All Else, He Is A Reliable Narrator

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 2 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My prompt: If you could just blink your eyes, right now, and be anywhere, where would you be?

It was submitted by: https://www.bakinginatornado.com

_______________________________

"and...well...if she had known the outcome of that fateful balmy, southern afternoon, she might have allowed herself that one last slice of banana bread. After all, what could it hurt? But as it stood, she would end up wishing she could blink her eyes and be anywhere else on a terribly empty stomach. Or so the contents of her stomach would later tell us."

I was just brushing my teeth, man. That was it. I was brushing my teeth when I heard Keith Morrison--YES THAT KEITH MORRISON OF DATELINE AND MURDER FAME--narrating my day. Who else could get away with remarks so closely balanced on the border between rather morbid and nightmarishly macabre? It's that damn voice. Keith Morrison lulls us into accepting this elderly distinguished gent in his little blazers while black eyeliner, sleeping in a coffin, and teased hair goth are at his very core. The man has The Cure running in his veins. He looks like the nice neighbor who waters his flowers every morning at 7 am and gives out full size bars at Halloween but sounds like a man in spikes and doom boots who drives a hearse to work. Vincent Price in soul and dapper, gentle Grandpa in form. And now I could hear him discussing every step of my day.

When I was choosing what I might wear that day he talked about very weird details of my childhood. My mom apparently said I loved catching bugs and studying them, but I'm pretty sure that was only 2 weeks in the summer between 2nd and 3rd grade. My dad called me the light of his life which is rich considering just last year he asked me why I had to make him look bad with all his friends when I got a tattoo of Benson from Regular Show in that old Burt Reynolds Playgirl pose. But listen that thing was amazing. Either way I was the queer Black Sheep™ of the family, and my brother was definitely the golden child, so this all from my dad came as news to me. I mean, at some points I found myself listening in like I'd done with true crime podcasts over and again including the one with audio of old datelines...it couldn't be about me but it was. The details were just enough for me to recognize the truth while also wondering what the fuck these people who criticized and hurt and bullied thought they were up to talking about me like this. I could hear Keith talking about my best friend while I made my lunch for the day and got everything together for work and wouldn't you know this bitch I hadn't talked to since school after she called me fat and ugly and weird pushed me down and made me break my thumb was CRYING. crying! I was completely unaware I was so important in her life considering we hadn't talked for like 20 years.

Fucking people.

And then I think maybe the coffee hit and I realized either I had completely lost touch with reality and I needed to see someone or I was about to get murdered. And I really needed to figure that out urgently because I did absolutely not want to blink and wish I was anywhere else but there on an empty stomach later that afternoon as Keith, yes we're on a first name basis now, had so described.

I went back at the last minute and ate 2 slices of banana bread. Fuck fate. Or, well, fuck dateline. Same difference here really. And it was the best banana bread I've ever made.

So I'm here at work. No one can here Keith narrating my life story. But apparently I'm also not acting weird enough for anyone to be concerned, so it must not be a hallucination entirely? I don't know. Maybe it's Keith's calming voice keeping me straight. Would people be reacting to me differently if this was like Nancy Grace or those loud assholes from Last Podcast on the Left? It makes good sense that my brain would pick Keith for a hallucination though you know? But hallucinations generally aren't logical choices right? I dont know. I just know that Keith keeps saying I don't know that this is my last day at work and wouldn't I, if I knew, want to blink my eyes and wish myself anywhere else. And I mean yes but that's not helpful really since I now know this might be my last day on earth, and I can't actually blink my eyes and wish myself anywhere but here. It's like rubbing rock salt in a very open wound, Keith.

The end of the work day is coming up and since apparently I never make it back home to the banana bread I wasn't supposed to eat, whatever happens must be happening soon. I had no plans but going straight home once I clock out here. So I don't know. Do I leave? Do I stay and try to circumvent this, this thing ....my murder?

If Im honest I think if I actually could blink my eyes and wish myself anywhere else I'd just want to go hang out with my little sister and watch golden girls...but what if that's what I'm supposed to do and then we both die? So what I'm gonna do instead is hang out here at work. I know the night janitor. He's a pretty nice guy, and he said he wouldn't mind if I just stayed. He even said he had a cot down in the basement I could use if I wanted to go down there later, so that's what I'm going to do. That'll probably be fine, right?

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Climaxed https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

Crow's Feet

Today’s post is a writing challenge. This is how it works: participating bloggers picked 4 – 6 words or short phrases for someone else to craft into a post. All words must be used at least once and all the posts will be unique as each writer has received their own set of words. That’s the challenge, here’s a fun twist; no one who’s participating knows who got their words and in what direction the writer will take them. Until now.

My words are:

exercise ~ laughter ~ embarrassing ~ whoops

They were submitted by: https://thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog

_________________________

In the beginning, warning people was an exercise in futility. I would tell people that folks at my job were going missing, that we were being harvested to reverse aging, and it would be met with laughter. Like a "whoops I think she's lost her mind" sort of uncomfortable laugh but also the kind that felt like I'd die from the embarrassing reality of being seen as such a clown and the pain of knowing so many more of us were going to die...that it would be too late before anyone noticed.

I was working at an anti-aging spa resort when I found out what was happening. I actually had no idea how I even got the job at first considering how poor I was. And I mean, I looked it. Cheap polyester blazers, decent skin, a terrible haircut, and the trend knowledge of a flea were what I brought to the table, but I was hired on anyway. I rationalized that they'd seen some potential in me or that my imposter syndrome was tripping me up, and i was being too hard on myself. It was such a great opportunity, and the pay was better than I'd ever been offered.

Everything was great at first.

It was. I know what I know now but that doesn't erase those first weeks when I felt like a new person. Everyone--the other new hires and my supervisors and the masseuses and the estheticians--were very kind and understanding and patient. I learned so much. I was actually really pumped about the whole industry. I was seeing people with real results, and they seemed so happy. I wanted to be able to do that for people--which, looking back, is hilarious in the darkest way possible--and I started to think I'd found my niche. My career. My thinking started to shift. I was looking into programs and thinking about the future.

And then Mindy disappeared. They said she quit with no notice, but that didn't sound like her. We'd become fast friends, and I knew her pretty well even though it had only been a couple months. I don't know. She'd just been such a good listener and funny and witty and I was starting to think I might be like... gay for her to be honest. When I went by her place there were tons of packages on the porch. Her car was there, but she didn't answer the door or my calls and that was pretty much never the case. We talked every day even if we worked the same shift. There were nights we'd been up until 3 am video chatting and watching the same movies and that's if I wasnt already at her place. I actually hadn't seen her posting online either which was very unlike her. She had quite a catalog of memes she constantly posted. If the girl wasn't at work she was usually at home posting the most absurd shit should could find which is what drew us together. We weren't go out to the bars after work kind of people, so when the rest went we usually got tacos and hung out at her place quietly. She hadnt mentioned anything to me about quitting. She loved the job as much as I did. It was pretty easy work and it could be a good stepping stone into an actual field and not just out here flailing and working dead ends. She wanted the job. And there's a part of me that thought there was no way she'd leave it while I was there even if it was awful.

And it occured to me that management didn't know how close we actually were. We were kind of scared they'd have a problem with it. I knew in my heart the crush went both ways. I know now for sure. Either way, I think both of us figured dating coworkers would be a big no no, and neither of us were out exactly either, so people knew we hung out sometimes but not the extent of it. I thought maybe something sinister was going on and they'd just lied to keep from stirring us up over it, and that was right...but also very wrong. I thought maybe she got in trouble for her social media and was embarrassed to talk to me or maybe she was sick and they couldn't divulge her personal status. But why wouldn't she answer me? And I couldn't call family. She didn't really talk to hers. That was another thing that drew us together. Similar trauma.

Then Shonda quit without notice. And erin. and Nova. Then Sam. Esther. Janice.

Uh. That's what you might call a pattern, you know? And like I didn't know them quite as well but none of them talked about hating their jobs either. Nova and Sam were both nonbinary and happy as hell to have jobs where they felt safe and accepted.

Why didn't it click that every single one of the people who went missing didn't come from great families? Every single one of them had talked about it in the break room. On one of the few nights Mindy and I went out to have a drink with everyone else just to show.our faces and not alienate ourselves, we'd all talked about it and how funny it was that we were all from the same backgrounds really. I thought it said a lot about the family structure and society and not like...strategic.

I tried messaging other friends on their Facebook pages but got no responses. I called the police department about Mindy but they told me I wasn't family and that adults can disappear if they want to without coworkers trying to track them down for whatever story I wanted to hear about why she quit her job so I quit looking.

I should have quit the job then, right? I should have. I know I should have. Why the fuck didn't I? I guess I didn't want to leave everyone hanging and disappoint them. The rest of my coworkers were stressed out because we were either short staffed or training people, and my boss's boss had come through and let the rest of us know that if we left without notice like the others there would be no way we could get jobs at other spas in town. She'd make sure of it. And, well, I'm also a bit of a people pleaser which didn't help matters.

If I get out of this--i'm probably not getting out of this--im really going to get some therapy to work on that... Right after all there therapy I'm gonna need for PTSD.

Anyway, I got nosy. I mean, I might be a people pleaser but I'm also basically a cat otherwise, and my curiosity got the better of me. And honestly with how things were going, someone was going to get the better of me either way. Why not let it be myself? I stole the office manager's extra keys after sending her a very annoyingly off key singing telegram to distract her and went back after business hours one night. I really just meant to find their files and see if any of them had emergency contacts listed or if anything was mentioned about why they left.

I didn't make it that far though. I heard screaming coming from the back rooms and instead of running out the front and calling the cops I ran to help. Of course my dumbass did. And that's when I saw the whole setup. All the others were there. They were... They were being cut on. Cut apart. Mindy was being sewn up and a fresh kidney was sitting on ice beside her. I wasn't exactly being quiet in the first place but I was screaming before I even realized. Mindy was still aware enough to yell my name and tell me to run so I did. I don't even know how I made it out of the building. I don't. I can't even run! I never run. But I guess my fear overrode my aversion to exercise and really went for it. I got to my car and peeled out, but pretty much immediately filled with regret that I didn't try to save her. I don't know. I don't. Im not a coward. I swear to fucking god I'm not. But what I saw... The absolute terror in her voice... I just acted on instinct or at least some part of me that moved my feet for me without time for the wannabe hero parts of my brain to step in and slow me down. 

Then, I saw someone with their brights on speeding up behind me.

To be continued...

________________________________

Links to the other “Use Your Words” posts:



Baking In A Tornado https://www.bakinginatornado.com/

Climaxed https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver https://thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog

On the Border https://dlt-lifeontheranch.blogspot.com/

Magic All Around

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 3 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts. 

My “Secret Subject” is:

Do you believe in magic?

It was submitted by: https://www.bakinginatornado.comI

___________________

 I believe in the magic we make and in the magic of living every day in a world where I can teach cats how to fist bump and gaze at the moon and watch a bee stirring among the flowering trees I planted in my front yard years ago.

There's magic in your brain chemistry changing because you share time and space with a particularly special human who isn't that particularly special to most other people. Magic happens every time I take a phone call from someone who has been in prison for 20+ years but is still able to laugh with me and at me for 15 minutes.

The pagentry in professional wrestling is a kind of magic. People waking up every day in this country and still choosing to loudly be who they are is magic.

Bob's Burgers is magic. Hearing a song that makes you time travel in the first 2 seconds? Absolutely magic.

Catching sight of dew drops clinging to a spiderweb in the stillness of those moments just before sunrise is so magical it hurts especially when the early rays beam off every tiny droplet.

Mr. Rogers was magic. Making someone smile using a well-practiced illusion is magic but so is making an orangutan at the zoo or a dog from a shelter freak out over a badly performed one.

Growing babies for 9 months who come out with all their teeth stuffed in their skulls? Magic. Cats who eat jellybeans but not turkey are extra special magic. The bond you can have with a tiny creature you dragged in from the side of the road who doesn't even speak or understand most of your language is the strangest magic especially when that creature absolutely hated everything in existence and now suddenly likes to curl around your lap 5 times before settling in and demanding attention.

Friendships that form over instantaneous messages that fly through the ether are magic and even more magical when you know every one of that person's good days and bad and their trauma and their biggest fears but you haven't even seen each other face to face.

Magic is everywhere you look. It's everywhere you exist. Living and breathing and fighting for a better world is all magic. I don't think magic requires the fantastical or spells or witching or wizardry. Every moment is magic if you're willing to see it. Every atom. Every particle. Every breath and photo and written word. We're surrounded every second of every day by all the magic we could ever need.

But it would definitely be nice if someone could actually pull money out of my ear. I need a new tattoo.

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Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado https://www.BakingInATornado.com

Climaxed https://climaxedtheblog.blogspot.com

The Diary of an Alzheimer’s Caregiver https://thediaryofanalzheimerscaregiver.com/blog