Friday, October 8, 2021

Perhaps You Are Mistaken

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is:

"Dear __..."

It was submitted by:

I don't expect this sentiment to be shared by everyone here reading but I also don't care about that.

Dear cis men,

We don't care.

Collectively pretty much the entirety of the rest of the genders, infinite as they may be, really don't care if what we do is attractive to you. We don't need to know you don't find our colored hair or fake nails or androgynous nature or body shape attractive. Go find someone you like because we promise your breath and your time is being wasted telling people you don't find attractive to change.

You see what you have gotten wrong, so comically and horribly wrong, is the idea that we give one iota of a shit what attracts men when we do these things. We don't get tattoos and nose rings for male approval. We don't color our hair so we can get badly jackhammered and fake an orgasm. We dress and act and love and feel in ways that serve US. We get tattoos to represent us. We dye our hair because we love how it looks TO US (and so little girls in the grocery store tell us they love it). We wear black lipstick and bold eyeshadow and draw on or shave our brows for us.

And I hate to be the one to tell you this (no I don't), but, for one, many of us don't even like men. At all. I know for many of you the thought that someone doesn't want your dick would never cross your minds, but sexuality is a spectrum too and a fair portion of the time cis men just don't have a place on that spectrum with us and when they do I can promise you it isn't the ones loudly protesting what we look like. And, for two, oh babies how wrong you are.

I have been fat and blatantly queer with colored hair and tattoos and loudly opinionated and all manner of things I've been told for years that men don't like and I've never had to do much to have some dick swing my way. In fact many of the men who swear they aren't into those sorts of things publicly are of quite a different opinion in private and please understand if you do that I will publicly reveal it. Many of us will. We don't abide your double lives. I will post your messages. And I will laugh with my friends when I do. At you. Not with you. 

What we need you to know is that for all the time you spend bitching about folks you are and aren't attracted to, you could try spending time with people you ARE attracted to. Why are you wasting time on someone or some trait you aren't into? It reads a lot like denial. And it's a little sad to see adults hiding behind fake outrage while wanting the very thing you claim to hate.

Grow up. And find a better hobby than sexism and phobias.



The rest of the bloggers participating today:

Baking In A Tornado

Wandering Web Designer

What TF Sarah

Part-time Working Hockey Mom


  1. Sadly, those of us who hear you already agreed, and those to whom you speak will most likely forever remain deaf. It must be a very sad existence, not being able to see the beauty in all the colors on the spectrum.

  2. Ha, no kidding. The women that don't dress up for themselves, will rather obsess how their style or make-up compares to fellow women than whether it pleases the majority of the male population ;-)

  3. I agree. I am very opinionated (which drives my husband crazy) like yesterday at Sam's Club. There was an AT&T salesman that approached me. Instead of saying 'no thank you'. I popped off with. "I don't want your service, I don't want your plans, what I do want is for you to get the fuck out of my vagina." If I ever get divorced or widowed I'm becoming a lesbian! Men Suck. Mine's just feminine enough to be tolerated (which translates to he cleans like a mother fucker! Hahaha)