Friday, March 5, 2021

Puff or Pass?

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is:

Today is National Cheese Doodle Day. Let’s talk about it.

It was submitted by:

I hate to be a party pooper but I really don't celebrate cheese doodle day. 

There have certainly been times in my life where a cheese doodle hit the spot. I was probably high, and they probably tasted like the best thing I'd ever eaten. But eating has gotten a little complicated in the past few years, and cheese doodles usually aren't worth the potential tummy ache. 

With cfs/me (chronic fatigue syndrome), GI issues are fairly common. For the first half of my time so far having this illness, my GI symptoms were more mild. I had some issues with nausea and indigestion which were pretty much solved with digestive enzymes. I was often miserable if I ate more than a small portion of food and couldn't always keep my things down when eating a normal meal, but I could handle it ok. 

And then I got some sort of stomach virus about 3 christmases ago and everything went to hell. Gastroparesis hell. 

For a year I couldn't eat anything more than chicken noodle soup (picking around the chicken), saltines, and baked potatoes. A year. Anything more than that, and I would be in excruciating pain for hours if I managed to keep it down. (Did I lose weight? No. No I did not. This is the body I have to accept, so please do not mention weightloss in the comments). 

After that year, I would occasionally try to add a few things back in. Pasta with a little sauce. Sometimes rice. A piece of cheese toast here and there. Smoothies. It took almost 3 years to be able to have sliced turkey or nuts. I cried the first time I got to eat an orange again. I made banana bread and didn't feel like dying after eating a small piece... it's trial and error and on bad days I can't eat anything I ate the day before. I always have to space things out. It's complicated, and I definitely had to learn to replace some of the comfort I found in food something else. Painting, I guess. My dogs. My writing. Podcasts and the Discworld series. I found my way with it. 

My diet is extremely limited, and I have to supplement with vitamins, but I've carved a new path for it. I'm rolling with this obstacle as much as I have all the ones before it. And as much as I would love to have a life that wasn't so filled with resilience and toughing it out and making it against the odds, that's just not what is in the cards for me it seems. To paraphrase one of my favorite music artists, you can call me the Queen of Shit Mountain, but if you want it you can have the crown. 

So. Where does that leave cheese doodles? They're good. But if you imagine just a moment, the first time you gave one to your child or any child and the sticky gelatinous mess they turned into with a little bit of slobber... Or finding one behind the couch that had been there unchanged for who knows how long... They're not exactly what you might call easy on the guts, and while I've had a handful over the last several years, if I'm going to risk being in pain over treating myself to a little junk food, cheese doodles are not at the top of that list. Dill pickle golden flake brand potato chips? Absofuckinglutely. Wasabi Doritos? Oh my god. Funyuns? Count me all the way in and then some. 

But, cheese doodle day will pass right on along like so many holidays before it--me doing things the way I always do. If you're partaking, have a few for me. And don't feel bad about being thrilled you're not in my shoes on this one. I don't blame you.

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

Wandering Web Designer

Part-time Working Hockey Mom

The Crazy Mama Llama


  1. I can't imagine eating taking up that much time and energy and thought and stress. I'll never look at a cheese doodle the same way again.

  2. I've been going through this same thing for the last couple of years. I have to be very picky about what I eat. I seldom have an appetite because the stomach issues just aren't worth it. I love me some chips though I can also leave the cheese doodles behind. I've got to figure mine out still but it sounded so familiar. Like now, I haven't eaten in 2 days. I don't want anything, go to the bathroom all of the time and haven't lost any weight it makes no sense.

    1. Its so infuriating. I can't eat a meal without getting sick and throwing up but I'm as big as ever. There's no such thing as comfort food anymore. I would look more into gastroparesis if I were you. There's a diet you can do for awhile to see if you can regain some function, but the thing that helps me most is Super Enzymes by the Now brand. It's a mix of digestive enzymes that I take before I eat much of anything, and it helps me digest food. Maybe it will help!