I Did A Thing

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This month 5 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is:

It’s a mystery . . .

It was submitted by: https://Bakinginatornado.com

____________

It's a mystery to me why I never allowed myself to paint or to draw. I contended for years that I could fuck up a stick figure and then I got into pins. Enamel pins. 

I couldn't find a particular pin I wanted--a frankenstein and Bob Belcher mashup--so I decided to try to research how to design it and get it made myself. And I did. I drew him up. I drew his wife Linda as the Bride. And I sent them in for a pin design, made some online shops, and apparently created something that a lot of people didn't know they needed until they saw it. Since then I've added a few more designs that I've drawn myself, and when I started using my cat to help me advertise, it turned into some themes and cosplays that helped me flex my drawing muscles even more. Every time we do a new character I get to draw something to add to the photo series--another character or a prop. 

And then 2020 happened. I was wholly unprepared for the mental toll that a pandemic would have on me. I started drawing more. I started doing quick fixes at home painting things that needed touch ups and trying to make the surroundings I were stuck in easier to look at. 

I cleaned some cabinets out and found an old ceramic piece of my aunt's that I had never displayed. I've spoken of her before in relation to trauma because she died when I was young. My grandparents had offered her money to lose weight so she had gastric surgery and ultimately died of a brain aneurysm puking from the side effects of the procedure. And then despite being responsible in part for her death, they did the same to me as a young adult. I took some of her things for my apartment after that...I had a morbid connection to her in death that I'd never had in life. Those things stayed with me through good times and bad for a couple decades now or nearly. I decided to paint over the old glaze and make it something I didn't hide in the cabinet like I did with all those memories. 

It was plain gray and black before

It looked amazing. To me at least. And my brain got so many good feels from painting and creating that there have been a bunch more painting projects since--a dresser, cabinet doors, my entertainment stand doors, hiders for my window a/c, a whole mini-mural on my wall, a redone lamp, fixtures in my bathroom, a drink crate turned shadow box... There have been so many the last few months keeping my mind busy when the anxiety and the cabin fever take over. 

It helps. It's not therapy but therapy? In this economy? Ha. Ok.

I had convinced myself that I wasn't or would never be as good as others when it came to this particular craft so why try. Why bother. I'm not a perfectionist, so why would I ever deny myself something that would bring me so much joy out of fear that it wouldn't be good enough? Good enough for who? I'm going to post these pics with the full understanding that this isn't probably anyone else's taste, not people who read this blog. But the mystery is solved. I don't give a shit, and I'm going to do what makes me happy instead of being hesitant to take the leap because I'm not as good as someone else. 

I sculpted and painted the horns

Dresser with skull knobs

My kid says these look like sleeping vampires (there are 3) on

Haunted saloon for my cats

Halloween figures I repainted

_____________________

Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornadohttps://www.BakingInATornado.com

Part-time Working Hockey Momhttps://thethreegerbers.blogspot.com/

The Crazy Mama Llamahttps://crazymamallama.blogspot.com/

Wandering Web Designerhttps://wanderingwebdesigner.com/blog