Friday, February 1, 2019

GTG Deluxe

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My “Secret Subject” is:

Imagine yourself as a product people can buy. Tell us about yourself... Create an ad, to get people to buy you. What are the best parts of you?!

It was submitted by:

Ok, so admittedly I was a little intimidated by this prompt. I'm not good at talking myself up and I kinda felt awkward about the whole equating myself to a product thing, but I did my best with a little help from some friends. 


Is your life a little too colorful? Could you use a little darkness and mystery? Do you need a constant voice of sarcasm following your every move? Well, look no further. This Titty Goblin, deluxe goth version, can satisfy all your needs.

Titty goblins are known for adding a little weirdness to life, but with the new goth version you can amp up the weird to astronomical levels. Witchy paraphernalia, obscure subgenres of heavy metal, and a deep fascination with the occult and dead things are included with all goth titty goblins, but with the deluxe model expect a closet full of interchangeable black clothes, at least a dozen different matte sanguine lipsticks, and collections of geeky merchandise like Pop Vinyl figures, enamel pins, vinyl records, and Halloween d├ęcor. In fact, be prepared to embrace all things Halloween all year long.

This deluxe version of the goth titty goblin might have a chronic illness, but she can still make a mean cheesecake and makes the most of her energy and time. When she’s not absolutely rocking your world, you can find her taking care of animals, writing prisoners, or working on any number of crafty projects.

She’s a snack. A pumpkin shaped candy with a hard, sour outer shell and a soft, sweet gummy center. 

A goddess with purple hair in a bat print dress. 

A Tattooed Lady with a coffee addiction who still watches Scooby Doo. 

She might come with a little emotional baggage, a soul scarred and cobbled together like Frankenstein’s bride, but she’s done the work to at least make herself whole. Patched but whole. 

In other words, life might just be better with her than without.

But don’t just take our word for it. here are some friend testimonials!

“Best titty goblin on the market!” –Tessa

“Hardest working mom of 2 and 4 legged kids you could ever find!!” –Tom

“What more than ‘goth titty goblin’ do you need?” –Phil

“Jenniy is a highly satisfactory product! Self maintaining, efficient, and compassionate, Jenniy has excelled at self awareness, truth-seeking, and backing causes that help people without harming.” –Mel

“Jenniy is hilarious, compassionate, and really cool despite living in BFE Georgia. 13/10 would recommend!” --Amber

"Do you need to kill machismo in a single witty quip? Definitely use the Jenniy model of the GTG Deluxe!"--Brandon


Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

Never Ever Give Up Hope

Wandering Web Designer

Cognitive Script

Southern Belle Charm

The Bergham Chronicles

Part-time Working Hockey Mom


  1. What a great post, and I love your friends' testimonials!

  2. I'm so glad this prompt pushed you out of your comfort zone, your effort mean so much more because of it.

  3. LOL goth titty goblin! Great job with the ad, people will be flocking to your abode soon.

  4. Ha Love it! I want one! Maybe move next door to me and we could have all sorts of fun weirding the other neighbors out?

  5. Hilarious! Your imagination always blows me away. Great job with that prompt, it was a hard one!