Friday, September 7, 2018

Pry My Candy Corn From My Cold Dead Hands

Welcome to a Secret Subject Swap. This week 8 brave bloggers picked a secret subject for someone else and were assigned a secret subject to interpret in their own style. Today we are all simultaneously divulging our topics and submitting our posts.

My Secret Subject” is:

What’s something that “everyone” seems to be obsessed with and you just don’t get it?

It was submitted by:

This kind of had perfect timing. I've been talking about this with people for a few weeks now.


Like anyone else, I have a lot of things I just haven’t been able to get into while people I know sing their praises. TV shows, foods, drinks, movies, brands, activities… The list is pretty long. I couldn’t get into Breaking Bad. I don’t like The Walking Dead. I didn’t even bother with Game of Thrones. I hate root beer. Don’t even get me started on black licorice. Baked beans are the devil. The Notebook was trash. I can’t stand South Park or Family Guy. I have never ever wanted a Coach bag or a Louis Vuitton. I don’t shop at Sephora, and I’ve never seen Frozen even though I love Kristen Bell. I don’t have any plans on ever watching it either.

Can we just take a moment to think about my sick ass trying crossfit? Or watching…*shivers*…football?

Is it even possible to picture me wearing anything that isn’t black or that doesn’t make you want to hold an exorcism?

But those are just me. Those are my opinions and tastes. I don’t think not liking any of these things makes me special or makes anyone else objectively wrong except maybe the black licorice. Sadly, though, that’s exactly the thing that everyone else is seemingly into that I just don’t get—shitting on things other people love for likes and attention instead of just letting people enjoy the things they love.

Youtube is rife with videos titled “how to eat [insert food]” or “how to drink [insert beverage]” and thousands show up on facebook every year of regular ass people throwing away perfectly good food in order to show how detestable something is supposed to be. Dr. Pepper, Mountain Dew, milk, candy corn, a whole ass plate of Chinese food, and pineapple on pizza are all examples of the subjects of these videos. Adults ordering food or buying whole 2 liters just to film themselves throwing it away in the name of controversy on social media just kinda blows my mind. At no time is that more apparent than Pumpkin Spice season. Hordes of memes making fun of pumpkin spice crowd the spaces of our social media timelines making fun of anyone who dares like a traditional spice selection dating back hundreds of years used for all sorts of baked goods. How dare we, eh? It’s not enough for these people to *not* care for it themselves; they absolutely have to label and tear down every person who does. “Basic,” ridiculous, obsessed… a whole stereotype of woman has been built upon liking a fucking mix of spice.


We live in a world plagued by huge issues. Times are pretty scary especially for women, minorities, and LGBTQIA folks. We aren’t sure of the future. You might even say we’re living in a somewhat dystopian nightmare that we thought we would only ever read about in novels as a cautionary tale. Instead of tearing down folks for finding some small joy in life that absolutely hurts no one else (unless you want to debate the tenants of capitalism), here’s a novel idea.


I can’t watch Game of Thrones for the assault scenes but I don’t trash on the many friends I have that watch it.

I don’t like pineapple on pizza, but I live with someone who does.

I would rather stab my own eyes out than watch a single episode of Family Guy, but I know dozens of people who get a laugh out of it.

Try it with me. Let people have their loves, their fandoms, their tastes, their passions…

Let men wear their hair in a bun without being yet another person to question manhood as if masculinity has anything to do with a hairstyle.

Let people eat their candy corn which must not be that fucking bad since it has existed literally for decades doing just as well as ever.

Don’t debate tea over coffee. Let people drink whatever they want.

Drink Dr. Pepper or milk or Mountain Dew or KoolAid or even Fanta if you choose and let other people choose too.

If a person wants to eat/drink/lather in/bathe with/spray themselves with/gargle with what we call “pumpkin spice” why not try letting them without cutting them down into some narrow stereotype?

Be a Converse person or Vans or even Uggs AND LET PEOPLE WEAR WHAT THEY WANT.

Repeat this after me: no one’s choice of clothing or food or drink hurts you or takes away your choices. And not liking things that other people like makes you no different than everyone else who doesn’t like it.

At best, when you gang up together and talk shit about things other people enjoy, styles they have, and activities they enjoy, you look like a bully, and your children are watching.


Here are links to all the sites now featuring Secret Subject Swap posts. Sit back, grab a cup, and check them all out. See you there:

Baking In A Tornado

The Lieber Family Blog

The Bergham Chronicles

The Blogging 911

Cognitive Script

Never Ever Give Up Hope


Part-Time Working Hockey Mom


  1. Live and let live. I agree. I don't care what you eat, what you drink, what you watch. It's your life. Live it. Let me live mine. Funny reading your first paragraph, I was like wow, we are a lot more alike that you'd think.

  2. Well said!
    I hope the hard-core vegan community reads your post... there tend to be individuals who are trying to make you feel bad for eating salmon or eggs.
    There is one thing I don't get why people think it's so great: oysters! They're absolutely welcome to eat or slurp them as long as I don't have to!!

  3. They don't just look like a bully, they ARE a bully, especially when they do it in conjunction with others. I will just never understand taking the time and energy to criticize people when whatever they like or are or do does not affect you. But, sadly, this is becoming more and more popular in this current political climate.

  4. I know it is each to their own but what right does it give someone to pass judgment. As Karen says -- it is bullying. When things like this happen I usually make a joke of it which, of course, can put fuel on the flame.

  5. I totally agree. People should be allowed to make their own choices...except for black licorice. That stuff is gross! LOL!

  6. I couldn't agree more. Too many judges in the world. Great response!